2003-03-02 - 11:08 p.m.
Okay, here's what going on in my life.
SAI/MIT skit planning tonite. Well, the skit will be fun, as long as we can get it together, and make it slightly more cohesive. We also talked about our fundraiser (each of the MITS need to raise ten dollars) Well, the first idea of doing a big/lil sis basketball game was rejected by two of the members because they did not like basketball. The two who did not like the basket ball idea loved the idea of a date auction, even though all the other MIT's are not comfortable with the idea. Mainly, the rest of us don't like the idea of standing in front of a bunch of people, and I in particular am not looking forward to the awkward silence when NO ONE BIDS ON ME! And here's the kicker! The two who LOVED the idea of the date auctions HAVE BOYFRIENDS! THE REST OF US ARE SINGLE! SERIOUSLY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!!! DAMNIT!
Also, I am tired of people who are not serious about working out being in the fitness room while I am there. I am serious about losing weight and getting in shape, and anyone who is in their in BLUE JEANS or FLIP FLOPS is clearly NOT SERIOUS ABOUT WORKING OUT! Once again, DAMNIT! And the two chics who were in there tonite bitched at each other THE ENTIRE TIME. UGH.
I had a weird dream last night. It was similar to dreams I've had before. What all of these dreams come down to, is that there is some situation where BJ is still alive, and there is some sort of crisis situation where if I act correctly and fix the crisis then I will get to be with BJ again, and we can be happy. And I never actually see him, but I always talk to him on the phone, and I hear his voice. He never seems to be interested in what is happening, and it doesn't matter if I succed or not. And I never do succed, and I never get to be with him. I'm usually in the same house as him, we'll be on two different floors, and I have to fix the situation before I can be with him. And I never am. It tears me apart. And I always miss him horribly after these dreams. I feel so silly about the whole situation sometimes. I was so much in love with him, but I was only fourteen, but the feeling that I had with him was one that I've never felt with anyone before. Am I just naive, or was it real? Right now I feel as if it was all very silly on my part. Right now I am very unconfident emotionally. But, I am feeling better about my physical appearance. I've been working out, and I've got the feeling that perhaps I'm not as fat looking as I think I am. Or, perhaps, that some people are jealous of my curves. Because I do enjoy the fact that I am a curvy individual. I jsut need to shape things up a little bit, and it will be better.
Well, this week is going to be crazy friggin' busy. Music Theory midterm, reading logs due like mad, a big piano test, and with Srping Break coming, all of my teachers are freaking out. . . .oh well, it'll be over soon and then. . . .SPRING BREAK BABY!!!
