2004-02-23 - 11:24 p.m.
So I'm starting up the Diaryland journal again, just because I need a place for my more private thoughts. And I don't think anybody comes to this one anymore.
Today is my birthday, and I'm 20 years old. That's a really long time to be around. I'm five years older than BJ was when he died. I still miss him a lot, but I think I've let go of him now. I can move on. I've been telling myself I've moved on, but now I really have.
We went to Shake n Steak for me and Amber's birthday, and it was a blast. But then the whole table starts talking about the guy in my edmul class that I think is cute. Which was slightly embarassing. But at the same time, I wasn't mortified like I thought I'd be. I'm actually okay with people knowing about it. I'm sure it'll be around the music building in a matter of days, but hey, something else will happen that will overshadow me in a few days.
I really need to make it a point to not be my typical shy, incompetent self around this guy. I am not ugly, I am beautiful! If he's a decent guy, even if he's not interested, he'll be flattered that I was. Let's just hope he doesn't have a girlfriend. Especially one way uglier than me. Because then I will really just be pushed over the edge.
I'm loving this waking up early and working out. I feel like it's helping already....I feel smaller....and Sarah said I looked smaller, and she hasn't seen me in a week in a half, so that is totally valid. I just need to eat super healthy so I lose weight like a mofo....haha
That's enough from me.
17 days til Ireland!
