2004-02-25 - 11:43 p.m.
Okay, so I'm still not good at being brave. I'll work on that, I swear.
But I could have sworn that edmul guy glanced at me a couple times today during class. And he spoke up and talked. Which he usually doesn't. Part of me would like to think that he's doing it to....not impress, but be noticed by me. That would be awesome. Because as much as I sitll see myself as a gangling girl, there's a part of me which allows me to think of my self as the blossoming goddess.... Which in essence is not better than the gangling girl because a goddess implies vengeful and unapproachable and untouchable. I just want to be me. Someone who is loved by a man for who she is. I really just want to get to know this guy. He seems very cool, and it never hurts to have more friends. We'll see what happens.
To help my chances of something happening, I'm going to volunteer again tomorrow. Maybe he'll be there. And I can strike up a conversation. Just become friends....because it's better to be friends first. Not that I would say no to it becoming more....as Kelly said the other night, become friends, but leave all of your options open.
I just wish I could be one of those girls who could chat with a guy, and it's not a big deal. But it is a big deal to me. I'm trying so hard to get over myself....that part of myself....I will talk to this guy and get to know him as a friend.....bound and determined.
